Sanctuary

Much evidence to the contrary, the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of
Witchcraft and Wizardry did not know everything that went on in the
castle at any given moment. Not always. This was one of those
instances - he hadn't known that someone would wake him up at two
o'clock in the morning. Putting on a robe over his nigthshirt, he
walked from his bedroom into his office,  wondering who could be
knocking on his door at this hour. And why? He waved his wand and the
door swung open, answering his first question: outside stood Severus
Snape. One look at his face answered the second.

'You've been away.'

It was a statement, not a question. Snape merely nodded and
Dumbledore gestured him inside, directing him to one of the two
armchairs in front of the fireplace. Lighting a fire with a flick of
his wand, Dumbledore sat down in the other chair, mentally steeling
himself for what he was about to hear. Although they had had many of
these "debriefing" sessions over the years, every time was like
getting a glimpse of Hell. Considering how difficult Dumbledore found
it to merely hear about it, he often wondered how Snape could
actually keep doing what he did and not break under the strain.

As Snape reported what had happened at the Death Eater meeting,
however, Dumbledore's face showed no trace of these thoughts.
Outwardly, he appeared calm and quietly compassionate, as always.
Inside, he was desperately wishing he could take away that bleak look
from Snape's eyes, but he didn't know how. At least, the only way he
could think of was one he was certain the reserved Potions master
wouldn't appreciate. He looked so exhausted, so thin, so... fragile,
almost. Snape sat perfectly still, his voice strangely  emotionless
as he delivered his account of Voldemort's latest atrocities. Even
when he told of being subjected, yet again, to the Cruciatus Curse
his voice remained the same. A flat monotone, as though this was all
some list of potion ingredients he had learned by heart and had to
recite to a professor. Somehow, that made it even worse.

Once it was over and all the questions that could be answered had
been asked, Snape heaved a deep sigh and said, 'I should... be
getting back to my own quarters.' With an obvious effort, he pushed
himself off the chair, Dumbledore's worried eyes following him. He
hadn't gone more than three steps before he faltered and stood
swaying for a moment. Then his knees buckled under him and he
crumpled into a heap, unconscious, Dumbledore catching him just
before his head hit the floor.

Snape was clearly in no condition to go down to the dungeons. With a
barely perceptible movement of his hand, Dumbledore levitated his
body and moved him into his own bedroom, depositing him on the bed.
As he gently undid the clasps of Snape's robes and removed them, the
Headmaster let out a gasp. Why hadn't he mentioned this? The stupid,
damnable pride of that man!

It took a great deal of time and concentration on Dumbledore's part,
but finally every wound had been checked and tended, every scratch
healed and now Snape lay safely under the sheets in a deep sleep.
Exhausted, Dumbledore took off his robe, wrapped himself in a blanket
and sat down in the wing-back chair next to the bed, prepared to
watch over the other man until he woke up again. The events of the
night and the lateness of the hour began to exercise their influence
on him, however, and soon he was asleep, too.

Suddenly, he started awake. Someone was shouting, screaming... Who...
The moment's disorientation over, he hurried to the bed where Snape
was lying curled up in a tight ball, whimpering, 'No! No! No!' over
and over again. When he touched him lightly on the shoulder, Snape
jumped and looked up at him with eyes that made a chill run down
Dumbledore's spine. There was no recognition there at all, only a
look of almost insane terror. Slowly reaching out, he laid his hand
on Snape's shoulder again. 'Severus, it's me, Albus.' Understanding
slowly dawned in Snape's eyes, only to be replaced by a look of utter
despair.

'Albus...'

And Dumbledore finally decided that enough was enough and did what he
had wanted to do ever since... well, actally for longer that he cared
to admit. He took Snape in his arms, rocking him gently, moving his
hand over his back in warm, comforting strokes, all the time
whispering softly. 'Sshh, it's alright now, it was a nightmare... You
were dreaming, Severus... You're perfectly safe here... It's
alright... You're safe... I have you, Severus...'

Snape never even thought to take umbrage at the familiarity of
Dumbledore's actions. He was too upset to dwell on such things, and
now he allowed the almost forgotten feelings of being held to wash
over him. After years of distancing himself from others, of making
himself as unattractive and forbidding as possible, the thought that
there was actually someone who cared about him despite all this
overwhelmed him, even it was only pity Dumbledore was feeling. Snape
couldn't remember the last time anyone had touched him, really
touched him. With a feeling of horror, embarassment and, strangely,
relief, he realized that he was going to cry. But he had spent so
many years holding back his emotions that even now, the tears
wouldn't come. For long, long minutes, Dumbledore held Snape as dry
sobs racked his body, always whispering compassionate words in his
ear, always brushing his hands up and down his back, stroking his
hair.

'Albus, I don't... I'm not sure I can go back again...'

'I know... I know... It's alright, don't think about it now... we'll
find a way... Go back to sleep now, Severus.' He muttered a Sleeping
Spell and in a few moments Snape was once again asleep. When he lay
him back down, he wouldn't let go his hold on Dumbledore, so the
older man lay down next to him. *No reason to spend the whole night
in that chair, after all*, he thought to himself before drifting off
to sleep.

***

Snape was having a very pleasant dream. It was one he often had,
usually when he was trying to fall asleep after yet another
nightmare. He was lying in Dumbledore's arms, feeling as warm and
safe as he never had in waking life. With a deep sigh of contentment
Snape turned towards the source of the warmth. He reached up,
whispering, 'Albus,' and found his lover's lips with the ligthest of
kisses.

Dumbledore was having an equally pleasant dream. He was finally
holding Severus Snape in his arms and as if that wasn't good enough,
Severus was kissing him. He eagerly responded, drawing Snape even
closer. Slowly, Dumbledore became aware that this time it wasn't a
dream; Severus was really there in his arms. He knew he should stop,
but he couldn't make himself do it. It felt too good after dreaming
and waiting for so long. He moved his hand up to Severus' neck,
gliding his fingers through the other man's long hair.

As Snape's mind gradually drifted from sleep, he felt Dumbledore
caressing his back and neck and trembled with pleasure. This felt so
wonderful... so real... Suddenly, it dawned on him that it *was*
real. He was actually kissing Dumbledore and, miracle of miracles,
Dumbledore was kissing him back! He hesitated and drew back sligthly.
*No, this can't be happening. You're hallucinating, Severus. Why
would he ever want you, ever kiss you? - But he is...* These thoughts
flashed through his mind, then he heard a soft 'Severus' and felt the
hand on his neck draw him back down and stopped thinking.

Dumbledore kissed him sweetly, hesitantly, as though asking for
permission. Snape willingly granted it to him and the kiss deepened.
Another tremble ran through Snape - this was so much better than he'd
ever dreamt it would be. Dumbledore's tongue begged for entrance and,
with a slight gasp, achieved it. Snape never wanted it to end, but
eventually he had to come up for air. As he looked into Dumbledore's
eyes, he saw such love there that tears welled up in his own. With a
whispered 'Albus' he buried his face in the older man's chest,
clinging to him as though he would never let go. 'I've wanted you for
so long.'

Dumbledore's arms tightened slightly around Snape before he said with
a smile in his voice, 'You cannot possibly have wanted me for as long
as I've wanted you.' He paused slightly, stroking Severus' hair, then
said quietly, 'Twenty years, Severus.'

Snape looked up, the surprise evident in his black eyes.

'All those years ago, when you came here looking for sanctuary.
That's when it began.' Dumbledore's voice was quiet, but Snape heard
every word. 'At first, I merely wanted to help you, to keep you safe
from Voldemort. But my compassion soon changed into something much
stronger.'

He reached up to push a lock of raven hair away from Snape's face.

'You were so beautiful, Severus... You still are.'

The Potions master actually blushed at this, making Dumbledore smile
before he once again captured Snape's mouth with his own. 'So
beautiful...' and he pushed gently forward, rolling Snape over on his
back. As their kisses grew more and more passionate, Dumbledore felt
Snape's hand slide up under his nightshirt, caressing his back. Snape
pressed his body close to Dumbledore's, leaving him in no doubt of
what he wanted. But he had to ask. He drew away a little.

'Severus, are you sure?'

Snape pulled him close again. 'I need you, Albus. Please.'

And then there was no more need for words.

***

Afterwards, they just lay holding each other.

'Thank you.'

'It was my pleasure, Professor,' Dumbledore answered with a slight
smirk.

Snape let out a small laugh. 'Really, I didn't notice.' He nestled
into Dumbledore's arms and for a few minutes, nothing was heard but
the sound of their breathing. Then, softly, 'I love you, Albus.'

Dumbledore's arms tightened around Snape as he took a deep,
shuddering breath to steady himself. His voice still came out
shaking, though, when he whispered, 'I love you, too, Severus.'

Snape looked up and gently stroked Dumbledore's cheek. At that, the
older man could no longer hold back his tears. As they rolled
silently down his face, Snape kissed them away, whispering, 'Don't
cry, love... don't cry... I love you... I love you.'

And they fell asleep in each other's arms, amidst kisses and I-love-
you's.

Title: Sanctuary
Author: GodlessHarlot